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עשה תורתך קבע – אמור מעט ועשה הרבה

Could I have some outrage with that advice, please

Posted by rabbiart on June 14, 2008

A woman writes in to “Ask Amy” wondering why all her lovers have been cheapskates.  She describes her current lover as a successful physician who enjoys a nice lifestyle.  She says she has plenty of things, but it would be nice to get a present once in a while because “I think that a long-term relationship warrants gift-giving “just because”—to make your lover happy.”  Further reading reveals lover’s explanation and the (perhaps, sadly, not surprising) fact that she and her lover are both married.  Dr. Lover doesn’t want to give her a present because “her husband might see it” and he doesn’t want any gift from her because his wife might see the present and ask where it came from.

I turn eagerly to Amy’s reply.  Had it been a musical track it would have been Aretha singing RESPECT. “You sound very unhappy. Your life sounds sad. When you start to value yourself, others will start to value you. Then the gifts (non-material but valuable all the same) will start to flow.”

Uh… how about. STOP HAVING AFFAIRS!? or (enough with the CAPS)  Stop having affairs with men who are having affairs!! Or, if your marriage has failed beyond repair, get out of it!?

Is that too much morality for an advice columnist?  Just asking.


One Response to “Could I have some outrage with that advice, please”

  1. Joann said

    I’m sure the writer (assuming that this wasn’t a practical joke someone played on Amy) has heard the sermon/condemnation before and would have tuned it out. Instead she got pity for having such a miserable existence. That might have been enough to make her take the real message to heart. I read this as “value yourself, stop having affairs and blessings will flow.” Will the letter writer believe it? I don’t know.

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